Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dear Social Media

by Ellen Meister

Dear Social Media,

I remember when we first fell in love. Things were a lot simpler then. The blogosphere was our playground and everything was new and exciting.

But you quickly grew bored. I tried to keep you interested—new entries, new jokes, even new templates. You thought I looked darling in Minima. I loved your SiteMeter. And oh! The Googling!

But soon enough, your attention wandered, and you began spending more and more time in some new place called MySpace. You beckoned me, promising things the blogosphere couldn't deliver.

MySpace, you said, was the future. We would be happy there forever. So I followed, and you introduced me to your friend Tom who, it seemed, knew everyone.

Still you weren't satisfied. Each new tease that came along—LinkedIn, Gather, Friendster, Goodreads, LibraryThing, Flickr, YouTube, Shelfari, etc.—proved just how fickle you were. For the most part, I resisted.

But then you started running with a new crowd, and I felt lonely and left behind. I begged you to come back to MySpace but you just laughed.

No one goes back to MySpace.

And so at last, with great trepidation, I started a Facebook page. I added more friends and grew bolder. But every time I settled in, cozy and content, you shook the place up, changing the settings and confusing everyone. This will be better, you said, you'll see.

Still, it's never enough for you, is it? You have a new darling now. She's fast. She's sexy. She does it for you in 140 characters for less.

And yes, I've followed you to Twitter and have been seduced. I realize now that no matter what, you'll keep moving on. But remember this, my darling ...

We'll always have blogger.

--
Ellen Meister is the author of three novels and a social media slut who will soon be appearing on a SmartPhone near you. You can take advantage of her on Facebook and Twitter, as well her own website and blog. Her newest book, THE OTHER LIFE, is in stores now. Click here to listen to her talk about it.

31 comments:

  1. LOL, thanks for the laugh, Ellen!

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  2. Thanks for the laugh this morning, Ellen! I think we can all appreciate your finding the humor in our love/hate/despise relationship with the web! :)

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  3. That's awesome!!! Thank you for a great laugh =)

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  4. Ha ha ha! In so many ways, we never leave high school, do we?

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  5. ROFL
    So true!

    I wrote my thesis about social media and was surprised at how much stuff is out there; so many things I'd never even heard of.

    I do wonder what will come after Twitter...

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  6. LOL it's always fun when someone says the word slut on the Internet! I feel the same about social media- note the initials SM.

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  7. Ellen--this is so true! Just when I get my head wrapped around a social media it changes, improves . . . whatever. But I must confess I do love Twitter and I never saw that coming! LOL!

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  8. That was terrific, Ellen. They just keep moving the game on us!

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  9. Loved this! As original as you and spot on as always... truly the speed at which the game is changing reminds me of those school dances that went on forever. So much fun at first, then boredom, then exhaustion. Couldn't wait to put the dime in the phone to call home and ask to get picked up so I could get in bed with a bowl of ice cream and have a late night chat with a friend... in the end it was all about the one on one and maybe it still is.

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  10. Hilarious, Ellen!! Such a funny and clever post.

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  11. So glad you all enjoyed this! I've been so crazed lately that I had to write this at 5 am, feverish and under the gun!!!

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  12. Funny, funny, funny stuff, Ellen. Clearly, you're on your game at 5 a.m.!!

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  13. Good Riddens to My Space. I HATED it!
    Wonderful post, Ellen.

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  14. Ellen, you are too funny!!! I am staying away from Twitter and some of those other things. But I'll confess that Facebook has seduced me this past year and a half. I'm still learning how to push all his buttons so we'll see where it goes. ;-)

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  15. I dragged my teens to facebook and told them myspace was dead.....they may someday thank me or hate me for it. I was late to blogging, but feel addicted now. I think Twitter has gone viral, but I tried it, and I didn't get it....maybe I'm too old...LOL!

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  16. I laughed so hard reading your post that my youngest son told me to shut up so he could sleep (I think he's actually on Facebook chatting with his girlfriend lol)

    Thank you putting into such words and such witty words at that, how we have all felt at one time or another with all the new social media sites that keep popping up.

    *bites n kisse*

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  17. That was simply wonderful! Thanks for the laugh!!

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  18. You gave me my first giggle of the day! Thanks, Ellen!!! It's like our own social media heroin. You can't stop. Ugh! Someone help me...LOL.

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  19. How true! Couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry-- but in the end, I had to laugh. YOU NAILED IT. THANKS!

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  20. So true! Social media is starting to feel more like the great aunt you know you should visit if you want to be kept in the will versus the boyfriend you can't keep your hands off of.
    Thanks for the smiles.

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  21. I completely forgot about my My Space page!

    I do love social media, but I'm gonna have to start limiting myself to checking FB and Twitter all the time. Too many trips to the "water cooler" in my work-at-home office with just the cats to chat with. :)

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  22. Ha, limiting myself FROM checking FB and Twitter all the time.

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  23. So very true!! What kills me is that now blogging is called "social media" - it's the new buzz word. People on Househunters talk about the house they chose and how it's close to their "social network." It's like when I grew up, we called having people over as having people over. Now it's "entertaining." lol!

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  24. LOL, Ellen!! I've had a blog for years but somehow managed to resist MySpace. Then Facebook and Twitter came along and I got sucked right in... ;)

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  25. MySpace came and went like a lover who came to visit with bad breath. Now we're at Facebook while having an affair with Twitter. The whole mess is a constant puzzlement.

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  26. oh ellen, you and your wit will keep us coming back for more! lol! this is a hoot! i hated "myspace" from the start. i couldn't manage anything and then there was facebook and what an addiction that it comes with!!! i'm finally waiting until the evenings to check my email or fb. my blog is just bloggy. maybe someday it will be "my book" of sorts:)

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  27. What a lift I got from all these comments! Thanks. So glad you all related to this. I'm also glad you read it right away, because no doubt it'll seem quaint and obsolete in just a few weeks ...
    xo

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  28. Genius! You hit the nail on the head... I don't think I'll ever keep up with all this social media...i just now signed up on facebook *shakes head*

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  29. "Social media slut". Ha! I love that. Cheers (from one social media slut to another.)

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  30. So funny, so true. Social media is a fickle mistress.

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  31. I do love Facebook and finally deleted My Space, after too many changes that made it feel crazy.

    But you're right that just when we're comfortable with something, they change it up!

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