Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Five Guaranteed Ways To Make Money As An Author By Ariella Papa


I LOL’d for real when I saw the topic of this cycle on this blog. I’m sure a lot of my Girlfriends did too. The topic was “Making Money as an Author” and after my belly laugh I had a moment where I thought, “Is that even possible?”
I kid, I kid. I’ve made money as an author, but the idea that someone can sustain a life as just by only writing is not realistic. Of course, I have a part time “day job”. There have two royalty periods where I have made so little that they held it over until the next royalty period. (BTW- another plug for indie publishing is that you don’t have to wait for those two magical times a year to find out how you’re doing, you can check your sales daily. That is also a job hazard.)
I thought about what one has to do to make money as an author and I honestly have no idea. I mean obviously you have to write. You have to force yourself to write more than you want, because the more you write the more options you have of things to sell and the more potential you have to make money. But of course, you’re probably doing that already, right? I hope so.
 Okay, so here are five foolproof plans that will rocket you to the top of the bestseller list so you can “make money as an author”.
Convince Lady Gaga to read your book and tweet her fans to buy it.

Get Justin Beiber to rap/sing sections of your book and put it on Youtube.

Compel HBO to adapt your book into a series that airs on Sunday night.

Befriend Oprah (I mean this one is so obvious. Doing this would solve all your issues.)

Travel back in time and plagiarize a current bestseller. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees with this one.  A lot of book success is many different stars aligning under the perfect situation so it might not work. Plus we’ve all seen Back to The Future.  Once you mess with the space time continuum things don’t always go as planned.

Really, no one can tell you how to make money as a writer. I’m already noticing a pattern in the advice from my fellow girlfriends, if you are in this for the money, you should probably get out now. If you are in it for the writing, than keep at it. And if you have Oprah’s number, I still want it.

Ariella Papa supports her writing habit with a day job. In an ideal world her latest book A Semester Abroad will make her some bank. But if not, that’s okay too.

24 comments:

  1. Ariella, These seem like reasonable ideas worth pursing--certainly no less likely than actually selling 20,000 copies via traditional methods! The only one I might take exception to is the HBO series. Small beans. I'm taking my next release straight to Paramount.
    Fun post! ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Good idea, Laura. I'm glad you're thinking BIG. Just make sure you get a Spielberg or a Tyler Perry or Kathryn Bigelow on it. You have the clout. ;)
      Thank you!

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  2. Gid bless your heart and your sense of humor, Ariella! Simply loved this post :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the beautiful response. I'm glad you liked it.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you, Sheila. I knew you would relate.

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  4. LOL. It's SO much about luck and stars aligning (beyond the great work, but then not-so-great work makes it big all the time!)

    Thanks for the fun post. I'm dreaming of a Lifetime movie! :)

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    Replies
    1. Oh the not-so-great-work! There are volumes to be written about the not-so-great work. Sigh.

      Thanks for commenting. Good luck getting Valerie Bertinelli to star!

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  5. Love all your ideas, Ariella. They are going in my publicity plan right now! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sara!
      Get your people on it right away.

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  6. Replies
    1. You are so welcome. Thanks for the comment, Maria.

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  7. Replies
    1. The sad thing is my heart raced for a minute because I know you are "connected" and then I saw the 555.

      Thanks for my daily excitement.

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  8. "Befriend Oprah"--snorting with laughter!

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  9. Replies
    1. Where there's a will, there's a way. Right?

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  10. Very fun post. Thanks for the smile.

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  11. Oh no! So sorry for the tease, but love that you thought it really her #. If I ever am connected enough to get it, I will share it with the g-friends!!

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